Here is my sample itinerary for a wild bachelor party that if I would ever get married, I would beg to have!
FRIDAY MIDSUMMER MONTREAL
3:00 PM ARRIVAL AT PIERRE ELLIOT TRUDEAU AIRPORT
4:00 PM PARTY BUS PICK UP AT AIRPORT
A couple of bottles of Moet Chandon are sitting on ice with two strippers dressed like airplane stewardesses sitting beside the champagne.
They serve us drinks as the party bus departs, the music starts and so does their lesbian show. Eventually they give lap dances to the groom and anyone else who will have one.
5:00pm CHECK INTO A HOTEL NEAR THE DOWNTOWN CORE
Settle into our rooms, unpack our things, take some showers and meet with the boys in the lobby.
6:00 PM WHEELS AND HEELS AND STEAKS AND THIGHS
A stretch limo with a couple strippers inside accompanies us to a steak house where in private room two lesbian strippers will entertain us between services before serving us dessert for the eyes.
9:00 pm STRIP CLUB EXPERIENCE
We have a booth reserved with our bottle service already set up and waiting with a magnum of Grey Goose Vodka on ice. We all take turns getting some lap dances before sending up the groom to be on stage with a couple hand-picked strippers who will give everyone quite the show.
11:00 PM NIGHTLIFE EXPERIENCE
We head to one of Montreal’s hottest clubs and our VIP host helps us skip the line and escorts us to our table. Our bottle service is brought to us with an incredible show of lights and Queens “We will rock you” blasting out of all the speakers. We also added a couple sexy hostesses to pour our drinks and help hunt down some other women to join us.
3:30 LATE NIGHT BITE
We leave the club walking at a forty-five-degree angle and with whomever survived we head to La Banquise for some food and eat a poutine to absorb all the liquor in our systems.
SATURDAY
7:00AM SLEEPING
8:00 AM SLEEPING
9:00 AM SLEEPING
10:00 AM SLEEPING
11:00 AM BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS
Our house smells like bacon and eggs waking everyone up who will be pleasantly surprised to find some naked chef cooking up a storm. Our breakfast is served by some culinary strippers to kick off the day the right way.
1:00 PM BEER PONG AND BOOBS + SEXY HOSTESSES
After a hearty breakfast Montrealbachelorparty.com’s host knocks on our door with a beer pong table followed by four strippers dressed like cheerleaders and private school students. We play Beer pong against them as they also serve us our drinks making sure no one has an empty cup as they sink some balls.
3:00 PM WORLD FAMOUS BRISKETS AND WORLD CLASS BREASTS
There is another knock at our door and on the other side of the door our lunch is waiting. Montreal’s finest smoked meat is served by a beautiful waitress who keeps losing her clothes keeping the party going while everyone eats.
4:00pm to 6:00PM
Recovery time, no more drinking and time for a power nap to prepare for the night.
6:30 GENTLEMANS RETREAT
We booked the Gentleman’s Retreat to take things a little slower after a wild afternoon filled with drinking and strippers. We visit a Cigar lounge and in a private room we enjoy some fine scotches being served by another sexy host/stripper. There can never be too many strippers, never!
9:00 PM RESTAURANT
We visited one of Montreal’s finest restaurants, MontrealBachleorparty.com and I planned a multicourse meal that includes some wine to keep us toasty.
11:30 NIGHT CLUB
We visit another wild club in Montreal and once again we are joined by some sexy hostesses at our booth with bottle service.
3:30pm ONE LAST BITE
Whomever is still standing and hasn’t passed out yet eats at one of the late-night delis open in Montreal.
SUNDAY
SLEEP
NOON LEAVE FOR AIRPORT
2:00PM FLY HOME
4:00PM LIE TO GIRLFRIENDS